Don’t get your panties all soiled, it’s a homophone. You know, a play on words. I wish we had something to say about legendary pro-wrestler Dusty Rhodes. He was the Diablo Canyon OG, the Midnight Rider, Texas Outlaw, Son of a Plumber, and “The American Dream” personified. Dude played semi-pro ball in the Continental Football League before his team folded, and probably slammed more muff than Hulk Hogan. Look at the guy – he had to be the Indiana Jones of exploring crotch. May he rest in peace.

The dust may have settled from the draft weekend festivities, but like Kerrigan’s place, it’s not gonna be an easy clean up. We have arduous, dusty roads ahead ladies and gentleman and your rosters will be stretched to their limits. Draft report cards are in and the results are spread pretty evenly, indicating a relatively balanced league with no real outliers. Additionally, a 14-team roster leaves the free agent pool competitively thin. How you drafted across BYE weeks will play an important role in your core results.

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
-Vince Lombardi

The technical difficulties with the draft client and the mobile app were borne across the board. I promise you were not alone. I did reach out to NFL.com for feedback on…“what in the holy fuck happened” (I think were my words). I haven’t heard back yet which either means (a) they were mobbed with emails from across the fantasysphere and haven’t gotten around to our little camp yet, or (b) they have no clue what went wrong and are still frisking the mainframe.

Luckily the issues during the last few rounds were during the last few rounds. We were all looking for scraps at that point anyway. And yours truly ended up with a SUS and an INJ on 2 out of the last 3 picks. A total of 5 of my picks were auto-drafted because of technical issues, including picks 2 and 3. Just sayin’ brah.

Nevertheless, I do take responsibility for the failure. I promise to look in to alternatives next season, even if it means we ditch NFL.com all together. We were damn close once before. Plus I am seeing a few more ads this year compared to last, and this season’s version of the mobile app hasn’t been that impressive as of yet. I do recommend you start playing around with the app and getting used to how it works. From the looks of it, you change your roster via Game Center and not via your Team page. That took a few clicks to figure out. Do your homework guys. Moving on.

Report Cards

For those that didn’t automatically trash your report cards and were able to forward them to me I thank you. I’ve put together a little 3-year historical look at how each of our teams (submitted) has drafted compared to how the season ended. As you can see, the results indicate nothing other than the fact that I continue to waste my time with this shit. Enjoy.

Your fate is what you make it.
-Sarah Connor (obviously referring to fantasy football)