Mr. Irrelevant is the title bestowed each year upon the last pick of the annual NFL draft. Although the NFL Draft dates back to 1936, the first person to officially be given the Mr. Irrelevant title was Kelvin Kirk, pick number 487 of the 1976 draft. The current Mr. Irrelevant is cornerback Kalan Reed, formerly of the Southern Miss Golden Eagles, who was selected by the Tennessee Titans at pick number 253 of the 2016 draft.
An outcrop of this distinction was Irrelevant Week, which arose in 1976 when former Southern California and NFL receiver Paul Salata founded the event in Newport Beach, California. He continues to announce the final pick of the NFL draft to this day (however, in 2014 his daughter announced the pick in his absence). During the summer after the draft, the new Mr. Irrelevant and his family are invited to spend a week in Newport Beach, California, where they enjoy a golf tournament, a regatta, a roast giving advice to the new draftee, and a ceremony awarding him the Lowsman Trophy. The trophy mimics the Heisman, but depicts a player fumbling a football.
Irrelevant Week gave so much publicity to Mr. Irrelevant that in 1979 the Los Angeles Rams, with the penultimate pick, intentionally passed to let the Pittsburgh Steelers, with the last pick, choose first. The Steelers also wanted the publicity and passed as well. The two teams continued to refuse to choose a player until NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle forced the teams to pick. The incident led to the Salata Rule, which prohibits teams from passing to get the final pick.
In honor of this tradition, our last year on the NFL.com platform, and our 5th anniversary, I give you our version of Mr. Irrelevant.
The White Wes Welkers could smell a loss this year like a fart in a car. Deployed at sea, I don’t know who was at the controls of his squad…the misses, his smoking hot Brazilian au pair, or the neighbor “checking up on things.” I don’t know. White’s trophy case looks like the Nutritionist’s at the Jack in the Box corporate headquarters. His players donned uniforms made by Underperformance Armour. This fanboy committal would’ve been better off leaving Gostkowski on the bench in Week 4. I’m pretty sure this was the only negative output on the season.
Despite all that shit, he’s one of seven veterans that have been with us from the start and deserves annotation. There isn’t shit else to say about his dismal season. Congratulations sir. Fair winds and following seas. Looking forward to next year and having you back at the helm.
The Lombardi Three 