Let’s face it: we have no idea what we’re doing. This year we wasted an enormous amount of time and energy trying to staff 14 rosters with undesirables. Fantasy, shmantasy – this was hardly a fool’s paradise. We are lacking terminological inexactitude. It’s been a great run, but now it’s time for real adult leadership.
Compensation: We will award you 51% of our company and you can set your own salary.
Employment type: Part-time (August – December)
We are seeking a highly qualified executive to run our league who meets the following requirements:
– Strong public speaking skills
– Steady disposition, remains cool under pressure
– Willing to inherit the consequences of five years of irresponsible league management
– Excellent negotiator able to deal with stubborn opposition
– Experience hunting terrorist masterminds
– Minimum eight years experience President of the United States of America or equivalent nation
– Strongly prefer the first black editor of Harvard Law Review
– Must currently hold a national approval rating of 57.2% or higher
– Passed comprehensive healthcare reform
– Natural born citizen of the United States
– Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint
– Excited to travel for work and be a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize
Women and minorities are strongly encouraged to apply.
Benefits include:
– Health/dental/vision insurance (while available)
– Generous vacation time
– A new computer
– Pre-tax transit benefit
– Access to office pantry with unlimited almonds
Interested?
If you meet our qualifications, please email btmccutcheon@gmail.com.
The Lombardi Three 