We are officially a quarter of the way through the season and I have no earthly idea how any team in this league, or any NFL team for that matter, is going to end up this year. I got nothing. The NFL and the state of Texas have no clue what to do with Ezekiel Elliott, the AFC East-leading Buffalo Bills have now beaten the Broncos and Falcons in back-to-back weeks, and Kirk Cousins is channeling his inner RG3 as he’s led the Redskins in rushing yards in three of four games this season. This all just feels out of sorts. I think the results of the Ball Gazer submissions each week were evidence of that. Week 3 was so bad I didn’t even post the results (as a group we were borderline .500). Trouble Hunter flirted with destiny in Week 2 (13-3), which would have ordinarily earned her a Bench Swap in any other season, but her domestic partner already deprived her of that luxury.
Usually there are indicators at this point in the season of some league playoff contenders, dynamic lineups, strong defenses, and deep benches. Or worse yet, obvious duds, poor drafting, someone you hate, domestic violence, broken families, and even a DUI or two. We got none of that. Shit, the teams with the two worst report cards after the draft have the most points in the league to date.
The turmoil continued in Week 4 as five out of the top seven squads lost and five out of the bottom seven won. The battle of the 0-3s drew to a close with IJamAllDay victorious, leaving Reason to Kerrigan the only squad left without a W. But RTK’s 0-4 record has a huge asterisk next to it, being the victim of a bench swap in Week 2. RTK has also faced the toughest competition opposing the second most ‘Points Against’ to date. Christian’s Brothers is the only undefeated team left, but this squad has also been the beneficiary of the weakest competition in the league through the first four weeks, having faced the least amount of ‘Points Against’ in the league by 166 points. That’s just ridiculous. That’s kinda like getting spotted 41.5 points each week before the game even starts. No one should be concerned though, as this won’t last. CB is 22-25 over his career.
Circling back on the ‘Balls’ and ‘Swaps’ discussion, we need to take care of a little admin. The unplanned BYE in Week 1 for the Bucs and Dolphins unveiled a void in our ruleset. You don’t know you need a rule for something, until you need a rule for something, and you know what that means. I have modified the language in our Constitution to address this issue should it arise again. If any NFL games are cancelled or postponed during Week 1, the win requirement is set to 85% correct picks, assuming picks are submitted for each game being played. If Amendment 13.5.1 – Shrinking Balls takes effect and any NFL games are cancelled or postponed during Week 2, the win requirement is set to 78% correct picks, and if any NFL games are cancelled or postponed during Week 3, the win requirement is further set to 71% correct picks, again, assuming picks are submitted for each game being played. This will cover us in the event something like this comes up again.
BYE weeks come in to play in Week 5. The Falcons, Broncos, Saints, and Redskins are off.
-The Commish
Single Game League Leaders
QB – Tom Brady (46.50 points in Week 3) – Unlockin’ Yo Schtuff
RB – Kareem Hunt (44.60 points in Week 1) – Air Jordy
WR – Stefon Diggs (37.30 points in Week 3) – IJamAllDay
TE – Jason Witten (25.70 points in Week 2) – Schoolya’gain
K – Matt Prater & Stephen Hauschka (19.00 points in Week 3) – Wanted Dez or Alive & Trouble Hunter
DEF – Jacksonville (49.70 points in Week 1) – Schoolya’gain
LB – Bobby Wagner (16.60 points in Week 4) – Reason to Kerrigan
HIGH SCORE – Wanted Dez or Alive (212.45 points in Week 3)
The Lombardi Three 