Bagel Time* has been blowing up my phone, desperate to gab about the state of the union through Week 7 and, you know, gloat a bit. Well…Bagel Time* is #1; Bagel Time* has scored the third most points in the league (while subsequently facing the second least points in the league); and Bagel Time* has posted the highest single-game Tight End and Linebacker performances to date. Bagel Time* is also getting an asterisk next to his name for the rest of the season.
*Team used a Bench Swap – results inflated.
We’re past Hump Day on the regular season. Week 7 was the second highest scoring week of the year, just 26.80 points shy of Week 3’s output. During the last three weeks, since our last update, five new single-game individual performance records were set, including the 61.30-point symphony by the Baltimore Ravens in Week 6. This is the highest defensive output in League History, including the earlier years when we awarded bonuses for huge plays. And they put up another 50 last night. Whoever is playing Reason to Kerrigan in Week 10, when the Ravens are on BYE, is one lucky S.O.B.
The state of the union is still in flux with the top and bottom halves of the league only a single game separated. Most of us are scraping by week to week, trying to grab whatever backup may be poised for a decent fill-in role that week, usually due to injury of another sub-standard teammate, in hopes that the proverbial ‘breakout’ status will accompany his inflated projection. Hope is fantasy football’s drug of choice, and we are all addicted to it.
Speaking of fantasy football addicts, I am particularly concerned with the health of White Wes Welkers. Having scraped together the 7th most points in the league, WWW has somehow dropped the last five matchups. Averaging 170 points per over the first two weeks, WWW has dropped to 135 per over the last five. May be time to reboot buddy. Why don’t you go ahead and move back east and we’ll work on this together.
My only other concern is with Wanted Dez or Alive. This A+ drafted squad holds the single-game high-score for the league at 212.45 in Week 3, but has averaged only 127.4 points per over the other six weeks. I think I know what’s going on here…according to a recent story in GQ, Trump secretly backed a grassroots campaign in 2014 to turn the Buffalo Bills and the people of Buffalo against Bon Jovi, because (big surprise) Trump lied and said that if Bon Jovi bought the team, he was going to move the Bills to Toronto. Interesting read. Stay focused buddy. You still got 200+ in you.
Alright TL3 – quick post. Just making sure the lights are still on.
-The Commish
Single Game League Leaders (through Week 7)
QB – Tom Brady (46.50 points in Week 3) – Unlockin’ Yo Schtuff
RB – Kareem Hunt (44.60 points in Week 1) – Air Jordy
WR – Amari Cooper (44.00 points in Week 7) – Trouble Hunter
TE – Jordan Reed (26.40 points in Week 7) – Bagel Time*
K – Ryan Succop (21.50 points in Week 6) – IJamAllDay
DEF – Baltimore Ravens (61.30 points in Week 6) – Reason to Kerrigan
LB – Telvin Smith (19.80 points in Week 5) – Bagel Time*
HIGH SCORE – Wanted Dez or Alive (212.45 points in Week 3)
The Lombardi Three 