No chicken dinners this year. We had two squads with a glint of fortune going in to the 4:00 games, and Reason to Kerrigan was still full of optimism heading in to the Sunday night matchup, but lost his bid to the promised land when the Lions and Matt Patricia embarrassed the Patriots. Patricia and Belichick did still exchange the customary thanksgiving dinner hug after the game.
Ball Gazer Results (15 games)
10-5
Reason to Kerrigan
9-6
Davante’s Inferno, Unlockin’ Yo Schtuff
8-7
Bagel Time, SKOLya’gain, Trouble Hunter
7-8
Tannehill4President, Whitey Ford’s Team
6-9
The Brady Bundchen
5-10
Filthadelphia
0-15
Christian’s Brothers, Wanted Dez or Alive
Of note:
- Only Reason to Kerrigan and The Brady Bundchen correctly picked the Skins over the NFL Officials Packers
- Whitey Ford’s Team was the only gazer eying the Colts to upset the SB champs in Philly on the day Wentz returns to action – not really sure what the rest of us were so confident about, but…
- No one in the world, including our little commune, picked the Bills to beat the purple piss out of the Vikings at home – and why am I reading the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle this morning trying to figure this out – and who the hell is Josh Allen (Wyoming?)
- I’m not naming names, but I can’t believe three of you picked that soggy pile of toilet paper, Eli Manning, and the Giants to win on the road
- The Brady Bundchen was the only gazer to correctly pick the Titans over the Jags
- We all got the Chiefs pick right – and with that unregistered sex-offender Garoppolo down, I can already see Kap kneeling on the 49er sideline
- We all got the Bears pick right – wait, Filthadelphia picked the Cardinals, but it looks like he filled the entire form out wrong (you’re supposed to check the box next to the team you think is going to win)
- We all got the Lions pick wrong – is it the weak-ass AFC East that keeps us picking the Pats week after week?
Please don’t take management’s drills on participation personally. I’m critical because I care. I’m also really bored with the cloyed week-to-week nature of most of our fantasy football habiliments. So to incentivize us further I offer the following Constitutional amendment to our Ball Gazer rubrics. This new amendment awards participation and provides an alternate opportunity to earn a Bench Swap, outside of the current rule set, for high-performing Ball Gazers. The 70% benchmark is based on getting at least 11 picks correct, on average, over each of the three weeks. This cumulative percentage was only achieved once throughout our tenure (last season by Trouble Hunter), so this is no turkey shoot.
13.5.4 – Sonic Tents: At the conclusion of Week 3, any team that has not already earned a Bench Swap, but has correctly picked 70% of the winners over the first three weeks of the regular season earns a Bench Swap. All three weeks of Ball Gazer submissions must be accounted for in order to qualify.
A consolidated table of 2018 Results is below. Till next year Gazers…
The Lombardi Three 