Facts are hard to come by these days, so here’s some good ‘ole gospeled certainty for you to osmose these next two weeks.
Here – hold my penis while I piss on your underestimated expectations.
- It’s cold outside. Who the fuck drew the curtains on autumn?
- Since we last spoke, Filthadelphia and Bagel Time put together 25 wins each over three weeks, including two 11-0 outings by Filthy in Weeks 8 and 9. Misfortune is looming you lucksters.
- SKOLya’gain is a tornado in the kitchen, and the sheets. What a god-damned mess she made tonight. Killer Turkish zucchini pancakes though.
- Christian’s Brothers is in 4th place, not 10th. His recurring fantasy tragedy has finally been righted. Remember his ship almost sank last year and he barely made it to shore (the playoffs). You’re welcome Reg.
- On the flip side, UnLockin’ is in 10th place, not 5th. Sorry buddy, you’re down here with Davante. We gotta drink the cheap beer this season, and get a good taste of what it’s like for these other guys most years. Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.
- In a few weeks, three League Members will be in Milwaukee prepping for a date with Curly Lambeau in Week 14 for the Skins-Packers matchup. They will be closing down Wolski’s in the 414 prior to. Respect. Put your custom cheesehead orders in by Thanksgiving. We will be closed Black Friday. Opt outside.
- Trouble Hunter runs a lot.
- We finally set a new Kicker record. Week 9. That whole tie thing was taxing my constitution. No one likes a draw. That’s the only update since Week 7.
- The Whiteshadow is terrible at this. He’s hit bottom at 0-11 three times this year. But he lives in Hawaii now, so, jokes on us. Still waiting for that invite my little eskimo brother.
- The NFL officiating in 2019 has been a shameful abasement. And the NFL doesn’t care. Here’s a good article covering this calamity, by a better writer, with a matured, seasoned presence in his writing. I mean, he doesn’t open up his posts with, “hold my penis…”
https://ftw.usatoday.com/2019/10/nfl-doesnt-care-about-officiating-problems-at-all
- You have two weeks to get your shit together. Think short-term – week to week. Don’t plan for the playoffs. Protect that waiver priority for Weeks 15 and 16. Whatever you do, don’t burn that now. That’s just bad advice.
League Leaders (Through Week 10)
QB – Trouble Hunter (Deshaun Watson HOU, 58.00 points, Week 5)
RB – Filthadelphia (Christian McCaffrey CAR, 47.70 points, Week 5)
WR – SKOLya’gain (Will Fuller HOU, 52.70 points, Week 5)
TE – Reason to Kerrigan (Darren Waller OAK, 31.60 points, Week 7)
K – UnLockin Yo Schtuff (Harrison Butker KC, 18.00 points, Week 9)
DEF – The Brady Bundchen (Eagles PHI, 64.95 points, Week 5)
LB – The Whiteshadow (Cory Littleton LAR, 21.90 points, Week 1)
Single Game – Reason to Kerrigan (234.00 points, Week 3)
The Lombardi Three 