It’s time for our preseason shamefest. Each year we call out the unprincipled degenerates who haven’t paid their dues, haven’t joined the league, and/or haven’t communicated with the League Manager. We have five teams who have qualified for this year’s abashment. By ranking of disrepute (least useful to most useless):
#5 – SKOLya’gain is paid up, but no action on ESPN (she’s on the computer all fucking day).
#4 – The Brady Bundchen is also paid up, but no action on ESPN. I’m sure he’s stuck in a convoluted vision quest of unknown cerebral magnitude dealing with the inescapable reality of having to abandon the “Brady” moniker.
#3 – Christian’s Brothers has not paid his dues, no action on ESPN, but he did answer a text. For a three-time league runner-up, the commitment factor is flabby and ineffectual. Plus that guaranteed #3 pick is at risk.
#2 – UnLockin Yo Schtuff has not paid dues, no action on ESPN, no comms. He’s a league veteran though, so he gets bumped a notch down from the #1 spot. And to be fair, the Commish hasn’t reached out.
#1 – The Whiteshadow has not paid dues, no go on ESPN, and no comms despite multiple texts. League Manager has the Pentagon posturing for cautious optimism of elusive manifestation to come.
Honorable Mention – Team Edwards. This team name sucks…wait a minute…this is fucking brilliant. Touché my friend. Hail to the Washington Football Team. Dude still needs to pony up his dues.
Footnote – Wanted Dez or Alive is dry country on the dues again. He wasn’t born to follow. It’s his life. No apologies for living in sin. Have a nice day.
I’m closing registration close of business tomorrow, Wednesday, August 26, so we can do the draft lottery the next evening. We have eight teams booked, and will play with eight if we must.
The following highlighted shithouses are at risk of losing their guaranteed draft position and participation in to the lottery.
Quick tip on the new ESPN platform: when setting up your team name, it requires two separate inputs for Team Name and Location (stupid). Not only are they both character limited, but both fields must be filled in. Most of you have figured it out by just splitting up your team name, but if your team name is only one word (e.g., Filthydelphia) I have a workaround. It doesn’t accept a blank space in the field, but you can use alt codes.
- For Windows users, hold the Alt key and type 255 and it should accept a blank space.
- For Mac users, hold the Alt/Option key and then click the space bar and it should accept a blank space. This has already been fixed for Filthydelphia.
Thursday night we’ll talk Hot Chubb and announce the #1 draft pick. Stay tuned.
The Lombardi Three 