Swaps and Gazers
We suck. And I’m not trying to sneak in some vampire pun here – we really suck. This was the worst Ball Gazer season in our history. We got progressively shittier each week. We went from 58% in Week 1 to 46% in Week 2 and 40% in Week 3. It’s gonna take me some time to really digest this and figure out what the hell was going on across the NFL. It’s not like we were all going against the grain on these picks.
Nothing too exciting to report in our final stab at it.
- There were no consensus picks.
- Brady Gaga was the only team that had the Dolphins win over the Bills.
- He was also the only unit to pick his Patriots over the Ravens.
- Coming Tua America was the only team that had the Jaguars win over the Chargers.
- McKissic My Ass was the only team to throw his Commanders a bone.
- With an opportunity to redeem his 5-11 showing in Week 2, he dropped 4-12 on us. What the fuck.
There were two remaining Bench Swaps out there carried over from previous seasons, and both were executed today.
- UWLtoDISNEY exercised his final bench swap at the QB position replacing Herbert (17.55 points) with Burrow (31.75 points) for a net change of 14.20 points and a win over Bagel Time.
- SKOLya’gain exercised her final bench swap at the RB position replacing Mixon (6.80 points) with Stevenson (20.10 points) for a net change of 13.30 points and a win over McKissic My Ass.
These were the last two bench swaps in league inventory. None were earned this year so we will have to wait until next season for a crack at these coveted assets.
That said, next season I will likely be implementing a new option. For $10-20 per entry, additional ball gazer submissions can be purchased. The money will simply be added to the dues paid and go towards the end of season payouts. I’m thinking:
- Week 1 (14/16 correct) is $10 per additional entry,
- Week 2 (13/16 correct) is $15 per additional entry, and
- Week 3 (12/16 correct) would be $20 per additional entry.
Until next year…
Strength of Schedule
UWLtoDISNEY is one of two teams undefeated at 3-0 but that record is heavily inflated. In Week 2 he happened to face one of only two teams he could have beaten and, as indicated above, in Week 3 he used a bench swap to eek out another W. Even with the additional 14.2 points in Week 3, he still would have only beat two other teams that week.
On the other end of the spectrum Hot Chubb Time Machine has had a tougher go at it. He took an L in Week 3 after posting a score that would have bested six other teams that week. With an average weekly output of only 131.87 though, he is currently at the highest risk of getting bit by the Vampire. Ironically, they face off in Week 5, the final week before free agency opens back up to the rest of the league.
Free Agency
Not sure why this is so hard to grasp, but I’ll say it one last time. We are playing under a Vampire format. Do not touch the free agent pool. The fact that there is no waiver period in place should be your indicator. Normally you can’t just pick any random player up whenever you want. Normally, there is a waiver process that happens. I turned that normal process off for the Vampire. Only the Vampire has access to free agents. Your roster is your roster, no matter what condition it is in, until the conclusion of Week 5. As indicated in the Constitution, these illegal moves do have consequences and lottery entries will be deducted from your balance next season.
Personally, I find this much more relaxing – not having to sweat all the research and tactics that come with free agents each week. Not having to wake up at 4 am Wednesday morning to be the first one to grab the leftovers. The fact that we don’t have access to it means we don’t have to worry about it for a while. Enjoy it.
The Vampire
The vamp has already put up 163.65 points in a week. That’s in the top one-third of scoring so far this season. He would have bit five teams in Week 2 had he been playing them. It’s coming…
League Leaders
QB – Coming Tua America (T. Tagovailoa MIA, 55.60 pts, Week 2)
RB – Lambeau Calrissian (S. Barkley NYG, 33.40 pts, Week 1)
WR – Lambeau Calrissian (S. Diggs BUF, 44.80 pts, Week 2)
TE – Hot Chubb Time Machine (M. Andrews BAL, 28.90 pts, Week 3)
LB – Brady Gaga (R. Smith CHI, 14.80 pts, Week 3)
DEF – Brady Gaga (Buccaneers TB, 48.30 pts, Week 2)
K – SKOLya’gain (R. Succop TB, 15.80 pts, Week 1)
Single Game – Filthydelphia (201.2 pts, Week 2)
The Lombardi Three 