Author: League Commissioner

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2016 DRAFT

ABAs promised here are the draft ingredients.

WHEN: The Live Draft will be held on Sunday, September 4th at 11:00am EDT. There are still only 4 time zones in the continental US under the current administration, so the math remains the same – that’s 10:00am for all cheese spongers, and 8:00am for the plate tectonics on the left coast.

League veteran, Holy Cross alum, Tom Brady reach-around world record holder, and Mr. Special Treatment himself, White Wes Welkers, will be somewhere in the Pacific Ocean between Honolulu and Darwin (Australia). Let’s all send my man Copper Pipe some good juju from the land of the big PX. Getting online for the draft from the USS Coronado will likely be a deployment in itself. Our thoughts and best wishes are with you my friend. You are the HMFIC – send up a balloon, make it happen.

WHERE: The Live Draft will be held in Virginia Beach at newcomer Reason to Kerrigan’s beach bungalow in the sun. All team owners are invited to attend. League Manager will set up the usual Google Hangout beforehand for pre-draft high jinks and chicanery. Champagne coolies will be flowin’ like hot oil out of the rear main seal of a ’66 Dodge Polara. You know what I’m talkin’ bout dog. Any team owner that shows up on a beach/street cruiser has all post-draft cocktails paid for by the League Commissioner. Bike-gang after-party TBD.

WHO: This is it. The Draft order is set. Using multiple offline and online randomizers, multiple team owners set in to motion the 2016 Draft Lottery for the first overall pick. Based on the rules of The Lombardi Three Constitution, this year’s first overall draft pick is…

AIR JORDY

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don’t want to hear it. Multiple team owners participated in the process. Get over it. The rest of the Draft order is set below. Remember we draft in snake format, reversing the order each round. The Lombardi Three Constitution is your point of reference. You should all have a copy on you at all times.

Draft Order

Stay tuned for the 2016 Bench Swap Forms and another friendly reminder or two to PAY YOUR DUES. Do your homework, keep your nose clean, and say your novenas to whatever fantasy football god you curse on Sundays. From here on out you’re on your own…

-The Commish

MTL3GA

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Say Something

I’ve been asked to, “…say something, meaningful please,” because the last four years have been filled with stagnation, poor trades and fees. And wonderment if, we will finally set this bird free. But I’ve come to realize that nothing will satisfy me, even if I burn this whole thing down it seems. We won’t learn a thing, and die from risking nothing. Fantasy football is all monotony, sprinkled with some moments of unforcing extremes – week after week. Remember, we are all just frightened roosters in a ring, ready to pounce and destroy anything.

Here is the first set of ingredients in this season’s recipe for greatness to whet that appetite for destruction.

NEW OWNERSHIP
We have four (4) new team owners! This will be the biggest change of command to date – but what better way to kick off the 5th season than with some fresh blood.

First in the ring, weighing in at a tight 119, is Andy Bothwell’s dime piece, the bagel supplier herself, Trouble Hunter. The garrison of Hessians will fall. Can I get an AMEN!

Second on the mat is Carver High School’s own Ken Howard, aka The Whiteshadow. Expectations are low, but either way, someone will be feeling some Hill Street Blues by season’s end.

Making his way to the top rope is this year’s draft host, Coco B. Edwards*. Coco is a fantasy football veteran and will definitely increase the value of The Lombardi Three portfolio. I suspect we’ll see better first year results that we got from last season’s pro acquisition, Tannehill for VP. Who?!?

And last but not least, we round out this 4-man freshman class with Jon Bon Jovi superslut, Slippery When Wetzel*. The only thing we know about this mystery owner is his fantasy veteran status and his premonition for 1935 Ohio State running back, Damon “Buzz” Wetzel. I made that shit up…except for the part about Bon Jovi. That shit is real.

*Full disclosure – Coco and Slippery are both new owners, but their fantasy identities are under construction. Standby to standby.

CONSTITUTION
At my annual league owner’s meeting this summer in the Pentagon, new strategies were developed to support increased trade activity and length of service in the league. As a result of this year’s meeting, I bring forth the following. Hear ye, hear ye, as League Commissioner of The Lombardi Three, I place in to law Article 16.1 of The Lombardi Three Constitution.

16.1 – The Long Game: Any team may offer up future draft picks (e.g., 3rd Round Draft Pick) as value for current-year trade proposals and acquisitions. Teams may not offer up future draft picks from seasons two (2) or more years in the future – these must be next year’s draft picks. The future draft order will be manually edited by the League Manager next season. All other trade rules apply in accordance with Article 13.2 of the Constitution.

16.1.1 – The SEC: As soon as any trades involving a future draft pick are accepted, the teams conducting the transaction must provide timely, meaningful and reliable disclosures regarding the trade to the League Manager during the trade rejection window of one (1) day. This provides the rest of the team owners in the league full transparency of the transaction.

16.1.2 – Monomania: Teams may not trade away more than two (2) future draft picks away in a single season. Any team that has traded away a future draft pick will finish next year’s draft with an empty roster spot for each future draft pick appropriated. Teams will immediately be able to fill those empty roster positions with any undrafted, free agents after the draft has completed.

16.1.3 – The Capitalist: Teams that have received future draft picks are reliant on the team that traded away their draft pick participating in next year’s fantasy season. If the team that traded away their future draft pick does not participate, the transaction is void for that year’s draft. If the team that traded away their future draft pick returns to the league in a future season, the transaction is immediately reinstated and the draft pick is forfeited to the original receiving team. Trade transactions involving future draft picks do not expire until they have been executed.

DUES & NEW PAYOUT STRUCTURE
Pay your Dues. It’s easy, I swear. Moving on…

Bernie Sanders and I got together and set the new payout structure for this season. While this design is experimental, it does not deviate too far from the structure we have had in the past where multiple tiers of accomplishment are rewarded, not just the playoff champion.

The new structure pays out all teams that finish at/over .500 for the season at $3/win. The remaining funds, approximately $428, are paid out to the Playoff Champion, Playoff 2nd Place, Playoff 3rd Place, Regular Season Champion, Regular Season 2nd Place, and the team with the Regular Season highest True Coach Ranking. The True Coach Ranking is tabulated throughout the season on NFL.com and measures your performance across four (4) categories – your overall W/L standing; how you breakdown weekly if you played all teams each week; your point differential in fantasy points between your starting and ideal lineup each week; and ultimately your aggregate rank based on these other three (3) categories. Last year our True Coach winner would have been Bagel Time.

Pay your dues. It’s easy, just do it.

FAM

Aight fam, put all that shit in the oven and bake at 450 for 35-45 minutes until golden brown. Stay tuned for Draft info including the lottery winner for first overall pick! Hint: it’s not you.

-The Commish

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Choke The Sky

The 5th anniversary of The Lombardi Three is here. Look outside, the parade is flowing by, and in just one moment all the floats will choke the sky. Imagine helium-filled monstrosities wading through the wind, above cheering crowds that are tearing down the last four seasons we have built with the blaring sounds of ooh’s and aah’s and huge applause, as they scurry to catch a glimpse of our 5th season appearing in the fog.

Lambeau Fog

This is Season 5. It’s happening, and we will be seeing some changes my friends. Look for a new, probationary payout structure, at least two to three new teams, a retirement or two, live draft location, and changes to your roster. Details to follow in the coming months…

It’s time to declare your intent. Dues have been increased to $50 this year to support the new payout structure. The league page has been activated, so you can pay your dues anytime. See the League Dues page on TheLombardiThree.com if you have any questions.

From the bottom of my heart I believe in what we’re doing, and don’t care if it’s unattainable, I’ll still pursue it. Remember, we are all just fighting roosters in a ring, ready to pounce and destroy anything.

-The Commish

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…

HouseCUtler

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2015 League Champion

Congrats to RGIII’s Company, our 2015 League Champion.

League Trophy has been mailed and virtual trophies have been issued. The League Trophy features the throwback 1965-1969 Redskins helmet.

IMG_7086 IMG_7087

See the League Trophy Case for your team’s virtual trophies.

Trophy Winner Achievement Detail
League Champion RGIII’s Company 9-7
2nd Place Lake Hickory Swallops 7-9
3rd Place White Wes Welkers 9-7
League Total Points Air Jordy 3,161.85

Regular Season Breakdown Winner Air Jordy 115-28
Regular Season Best Coach Bagel Time -154.90
Regular Season Highest True Ranking Bagel Time 42

Regular Season Breakdown Loser Ya Down With ODBJ 40-103
Regular Season Worst Coach Lake Hickory Swallops -316.60
Regular Season Lowest True Ranking Ya Down With ODBJ 11

Dethroner (Defeat Reigning Champion in Playoffs) n/a
Explosive Playoff Comeback Lake Hickory Swallps +6
Playoff Choke Air Jordy -6

Regular Season Champion Air Jordy 12-1
Regular Season Total Points Air Jordy 2,650.60
Season High Score RGIII’s Company 280.90 Week 3
Longest Win Streak Air Jordy 6 (Twice) Weeks 1-6 & Weeks 8-13

Regular Season Loser Tannehill for Vice President 4-9
Longest Losing Streak (Tied) Lake Hickory Swallops 5 Weeks 9-13
Longest Losing Streak (Tied) Eastside Forty-Ounces 5 Weeks 2-6
Regular Season Single Game Low Score Eastside Forty-Ounces 93.80 Week 5
Dead Last Ya Down With ODBJ 4-11
Least Points Scored Ya Down With ODBJ 2,209.75

Best overall QB Packer Cave 463.80 Tom Brady – NE
Best QB Performance RGIII’s Company 63.35 Drew Brees – Week 8

Best overall RB Air Jordy 309.00 Devonta Freeman – ATL
Best RB Performance Packer Cave 44.90 David Johnson – Week 15

Best overall WR Schoolya’gain 374.85 Antonio Brown – PIT
Best WR Performance Schoolya’gain 49.60 Antonio Brown – Week 9

Best overall TE White Wes Welkers 256.05 Rob Gronkowski – NE
Best TE Performance Tannehill For Vice President 34.40 Rob Gronkowski – Week 1

Best overall K White Wes Welkers 165.00 Stephen Gostkowski – NE
Best K Performance Packer Cave 22.00 Blair Walsh – Week 16

Best overall DEF White Wes Welkers 417.90 Denver Broncos
Best DEF Performance Packer Cave 49.50 St. Louis Rams – Week 7

Best overall LB Schoolya’gain 263.20 NaVorro Bowman – SF
Best LB Performance Bagel Time 32.00 Paul Posluszny – Week 3

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The 8 Seed

No matter what happens in Week 13, non-colluding lovebirds, Air Jordy and Schoolya’gain, will finish #1 and #2, respectively. Air Jordy will repeat as Regular Season Champion and this will serve as the only recognition thereof. The real party is just getting started.

Playoff seeds #3 through #6 will be mixed based on the results of Week 13. If you currently reside in one of these 4 positions in the league standings, you will certainly make the playoffs in one of these 4 spots.

Playoff seed #7 and #8 will not have it that easy. As we all know, the #8 seed dethroned the #1 seed in the first round of the playoffs last season and went on to win the league championship. That #8 seed is still up for grabs and the potential for history to repeat itself rests in the hands of 5 teams. I have broken down the 8 scenarios in Week 13 that will determine who gets a crack at the title.

Our current standings tiebreaker is set to Head to Head (H2H) record. The secondary tiebreaker is ‘Total Points For’ (the total points a team scored across the season). There are 2 primary results, each with 4 scenarios that determine who the #8 seed will be. The 2 primary results are essentially who wins and who loses the RGIII’s Company vs. Lake Hickory Swallops matchup.

Primary Result 1 – RGIII’s Company wins. Lake Hickory Swallops loses.
In the 4 scenarios outlined below, Lake Hickory Swallops will retain the #8 seed based on the H2H record between the two tied teams at 5-8 in Scenarios 1 and 3, and the Total Points For where the H2H records offset each other (each of the 3 teams at 5-8 in Scenarios 2 and 4 beat each other once, i.e., LHS 1-1, PC 1-1, T4VP 1-1). I place an asterisk next to the Points tiebreaker because LHS only has a 32.75 Total Points advantage over T4VP. If T4VP’s results in Week 13 exceed LHS’s results by this margin (very possible), then T4VP could win the tiebreaker. This is the only scenario T4VP makes the playoffs.
Simplified: If LHS loses, he better hope T4VP doesn’t outscore him by 32.75 points. Otherwise he’s in.

8 Seed Result 1

Primary Result 2 – Lake Hickory Swallops wins, RGIII’s Company loses.
This was a must-win for RG3. If he loses, he does not have a chance at the playoffs. In Scenarios 5 through 8 outlined below, the winner of the Packer Cave and Ya Down With ODBJ matchup takes the #8 seed based simply on the H2H records.
Simplified: RG3 and T4VP guaranteed out. Winner of PC vs. YD matchup is in.

8 Seed Result 2

*By the way, if Ya Down with ODBJ wins, his H2H tiebreaker with RG3 in Scenarios 5 and 8 was a result of the Week 4 matchup between the 2 teams where YD wins by the smallest possible margin, 0.10 points (142.20 – 142.30). I’ll say it again – that is a single yard for any player on the roster. Fucking inches man.

I do have a caveat to this analysis, especially with Primary Result 1. There is no official setting for a 3-way tiebreaker, like we have in Scenarios 2 and 4, and I have to assume that the tiebreaker goes to the ‘Total Points For’ as this is the secondary option. If the results end up different than what I have outlined, I will certainly investigate what the actual system settings determined and either provide justification or rectification. Either way, we will make sure the #8 spot is accurately and fairly seeded.

Go forth. Do what you do.
-The Commish

“A team that thinks it’s going to lose is going to lose.”
-Vince Lombardi

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Weak 11

That’s no misspelling, Week 11 was Weak! Our lowest output of the season at a mere 1,717.75 total points. Last week I barbed at our second lowest output of the season so I wanted to put together a little graph on this info to see if there was some sort of trend we could identify. Interestingly enough, the total for Weeks 11 across all four of our seasons is the lowest output on record. There are certainly a few other trend lines that could be worth assessing, but to me it looks like a perfect visual representation of the up-and-down nature of fantasy team performance over each of our seasons. Other than that, this graph doesn’t really say shit other than the fact that I have way too much free time on my hands during the day.

Weekly Total Points

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Just in case you weren’t following, there were some really exciting matchups this week that came down to the final hour. Monday night’s Bills – Patriots game held exciting implications for the Schoolya’gain vs. IJamAllDay contest, and the White Wes Welkers vs. Bagel Time tie-breaker showdown. The results of each matchup hinging on the performance of key New England Minutemen.

The first cited matchup versus league muffin-ass, Schoolya’gain (7-3), and IJamAllDay (5-5), rested on the shoulders of one Danny Amendola. With top target Julian Edelman on the surgical table, Amendola was expected to pick up the bulk of his workload and benefit from some significant points. Schoolya’ was up 25.50 prior to game time. Throughout the first half it was clear that Amendola was a key target and was on pace to challenge the points needed. Then, beginning early in the third quarter, one of the worst halves of NFL officiating ensued. Much of which involved Amendola and his potential stat line. To save you from my typical run-on drivel, read this piece at ESPN.com and come back to this post for commentary.

Game situation (1 & 2): Amendola was credited with the fantasy points for a reception and 14 yards on this botched call/whistle/whatever the fuck they called it (see below). For those that missed the play, Amendola would have likely taken the reception for long yardage and probably would have scored a TD. Essentially this fuckup by the refs cost IJam a fantasy W. But just so it doesn’t give you heartburn buddy – had the inadvertent whistle not blown, the defender might not have discontinued coverage and allowed the reception to occur. The whistle was blown before Amendola caught the ball and the defender appeared to back off a bit in response to it.

Amendola

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Game situation (3): The Patriots “simulated” substitution. Those crooked sheisters have no shame in their game. Moving on.

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The second matchup that went down to the wire was between Pugmaster, Bagel Time (6-4), and Little Belichick, the White Wes Welkers (6-4). Bagel held a desperate 14.20 point lead going in to Monday night and the Welkers had Gronkowski and Gostkowski (smh) left to play. Surely the league leading TE can cover more than 14.20 points by himself. Despite season-low performances by both players, the Ski-bees managed to put up just enough to take down the Bagel by a mere 0.50 points. That’s half a yard for any player on your roster. Inches man.

A question was brought up regarding Gronk’s point breakdown in this game. He had only 2 receptions; one for 10 yards and one for 27 yards. That’s 1 point per reception and 1 point per 10 yards receiving (fractional). By my math that’s 1 + 1 + 1.00 + 2.70 = 5.70 points. However Gronk finished with 7.70 points and an asterisk next to his stat line. That asterisk represents points in a category not normally associated with that position. Targeting Gronkowski, Tom Brady threw an interception at the 13:38 mark of the 4th quarter and Gronk consequently tackled Stephen Gilmore. Gronk was credited 2.00 points for the tackle; a stat not typical for a TE, hence the asterisk. This play is actually viewable via the first video highlight listed in the Play-By-Play section of the Game Center for this matchup.

Standby for Week 12 and 13 coverage. This is the last week of regular season matchups where we each play each other once. As advertised, we will have a one-week, mini-playoff before the official playoffs. Week 13’s schedule will be based on the standings at the conclusion of Week 12. Stay tuned.

-The Commish

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Rest of Season (ROS) Analysis – Post Week 10

Here’s a quickie.

ROS Analysis post Week 10

Strength by Position (updated): Based on the rest of your matchups, to include the anticipated playoff standings and projected matchup results, each one of these positions is stronger than your scheduled opponents. Don’t forget, this analysis takes in to consideration future matchups – not only your fantasy opponent, but the NFL matchups you and your fantasy opponent’s face.

Improvement: Based on the ROS I put together in Week 7, this is the change in Projected Finish. This takes in to consideration injuries (…Bell), the acquisitions you made over the last few weeks, and overall player improvement/decline (…Manning). Some rookies are finally getting their shot and showing their full potential (…Langford).

Again, continue to improve in those point-heavy, ball-catching positions you are short in. This is the last week of BYEs. After this week, dump the dead weight and diversify your bench, or use some of that stock to trade up. There were some studied shifts for a few teams, so continue to work it. Pull up the Depth Charts on the League home page and see who needs/has what. If after Week 11 you are still holding 2 Kickers and/or 2 Linebackers, you are doing it wrong.

This was our second lowest scoring week of the season at 1,932.65 (low: Week 4 – 1,809.15, high: Week 7 – 2,095.40) so I’m sure everyone was a little depressed with their results. Don’t overlook the lynching by the Tannehill Boys, with RB’s West and Langford combining for 68.30 points. And with Romo expected back this week, his favorite target, Dez Bryant, will start to get his. Keep an eye out yo.

The standings are so tight right now that you are only 1 win away from the next tier. Remember the top 8 teams make the playoffs. Top 4 cash out. Get that money dawg.

-The Commish

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A Bench Swap Has Been Exercised – Week 10

The White Wes Welkers have exercised their Bench Swap to replace Julius Thomas (R/W/T – 4.30) with Theo Riddick (RB – 5.60). This swap will tentatively net White Wes Welkers an additional 1.30 points and the win.

Final Score
White Wes Welkers 153.25 – Eastside Forty-Ounces 154.40

Adjusted Score
White Wes Welkers 154.55 – Eastside Forty-Ounces 154.40

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The Lombardi Three – Through Week 7

Since the National Football League began in 1920, only one team has played a complete perfect season (both regular season and playoffs): the 1972 Miami Dolphins, who won their fourteen regular season games and three postseason games, including Super Bowl VII, to finish the season 17–0–0. The Dolphins briefly extended their winning streak into the next season before losing to the Oakland Raiders on September 23, 1973.

1972 Dolphins-TeamPic2

It has often been reported that the surviving members of the 1972 Dolphins would either gather to drink champagne when the final undefeated team earned its first loss, or send a case of champagne to the team who beat this final undefeated team. The head coach of the 1972 Dolphins, Don Shula, did boringly deny this in a 2007 interview with ESPN. On August 20, 2013, four decades after their accomplishment, President Barack Obama hosted the ’72 Dolphins noting that they “never got their White House visit.”

Dolphins Fan

Why do I bring this up? Dolphins fan #1, Tannehill for Vice President (see above), knows what sort of legacy he was protecting and, quite fatefully and appropriately, dismantled Air Jordy in Week 7 crushing any hopes of a perfect, undefeated season.

Not that the 6-game winning streak was anything to brag about (Packer Cave went 8 straight in 2012, and Reservations For Six finished 7 in a row in 2013) but Air Jordy had been averaging 218.25 per week, 35 points per week more than his closest competitor, the White Wes Welkers, and 59 points per week more than the league average. Those averages took a slight dip in Week 7 after the pummeling by T4VP but don’t sleep on the League Leader. Air Jordy is healthy, has Big Ben coming back, owns the top 2 ball-carriers and 4 of the top 10 ball-catchers in the league. He faces IJamAllDay in Week 8, who is currently riding a 3-game win streak.

No matter where you sit in the standings right now, know one thing – you are only one game separated from half of the league surrounding you. The bottom 6 squads are only one game apart. Spots 2 through 6 are also only divided by a single win. This is about as balanced as it can be, I mean, half the league is going to lose each week. It’s that game of inches you have to play to get that next win and push yourself up to the next bracket. Two wins and you are in the top half of the league. Plenty of time left to find your OBJ (fuck that guy forever).

WHO’S HOT: IJamAllDay, Schoolya’gain and Lake Hickory Swallops have won 3 out of their last 4 matchups. The Swallops was hit with a Bench Swap this year so I imagine that chip on his shoulder is only going to make him more voracious. The White Wes Welkers are averaging 209.3 over the last 3 weeks and about the luckiest son-of-a-bitch I know. Trading Charles for Gronk right before the injury…it doesn’t get any luckier than that in fantasy football.

WHO’S NOT: Bagel Time has dropped 3 out of the last 4 showings after a strong 3-0 start. And despite the Week 7 takedown of Air Jordy, Tannehill for Vice President has lost another top tier RB for the season. This loss only decimates the RB field further and limits his options for recovery. But if anyone can do it, it’s T4VP. Despite the forthcoming Rest of Season (ROS) Analysis, I anticipate a rematch in the playoffs. You heard it here.

SLEEPER: RGIII’s Company, aka REDSKINS, aka Formerly GBJ, aka Genetic Black Jesus, is the ultimate sleeper squad. How this great white shark is not in the top 3 right now baffles me. If you drop his dud in Week 6, he is averaging 184.9 points per week, and has already put up an unreachable league high 280.90 in Week 3. Currently 10th, I guarantee he’s in the playoffs competing for the trophy again. The Rest of Season Analysis (source: confidential (I can’t give away all my secrets)) has him as the second strongest finisher in our league. Winter is coming. You heard it here.

REST OF SEASON (ROS) ANALYSIS: Strength by Position: Based on the rest of your matchups, each one of these positions is stronger than your scheduled opponents. So, essentially, man up in the other positions if you want to compete and kill this analysis. You may have done ok thus far, but this analysis takes in to consideration future matchups – not only your fantasy opponent, but the NFL matchups you and your fantasy opponent’s face.

And take a look at that – strength in WRs dominate the league, not the QB position. The top 3 QBs are currently on the rosters of teams in the bottom half of the league, and projected to stay there. This is a PPR league – Point Per Reception, not Point Per Completion (which is a scoring mechanism by the way, and a potential add-on for next season). Points per completion, at 1 point per, would be an interesting add. It would be nice to see our QB position have a little more impact on the league. Something to think about.

ROS Analysis

We have not reached the halfway point yet in the season. Still plenty of time. Be good or be good at it. Enjoy your weekends.
-The Commish

POSTSCRIPT: Prior to the development of a playoff system in the NFL in 1932, four teams, including the 1929 Green Bay Packers, also had an “undefeated” season. However, according to the 2012 NFL Record & Fact Book, under NFL practices at the time, from 1920 to 1971 tie games were not included in winning percentage. So, these four teams were recorded with perfect win percentages of 1.000.

1929 PACKERS-TeamPic

*I have one last little nugget for you. As you know, exhibition games are generally not counted toward standings, for or against. That said, the 1972 Miami Dolphins lost three of their preseason “exhibition” games in 1972. Just something funny to throw at one of those rare Dolphins fans you meet.