Author: League Commissioner

Regular Season Results

The regular season is over. Final season results are as follows.

Week 13 BYEs go to Filthydelphia (#1), Davante’s Inferno (#2), Glass is Half Fuller (#3), and Bagel Time (#4). Filthy repeats as Regular Season Champion; the first repeat since Air Jordy dominated the 2014 and 2015 seasons. Davante, Glass, and Bagel are the last three trophy winners having secured the League Championships in 2017, 2018, and 2019, respectively. That’s a lot of metal being thrown around the top third of the league.

Coming Tua America (#5) won the title in 2016, but finished 11th, 10th, 11th, and 9th in each of his other four seasons played.  Operation Warp Speed (#6) has made it to the final matchup three times over his reign (and lost). Warp Speed is our equivalent of the 90’s Bills that lost four straight Super Bowls from 1990-1993.  SKOLya’gain (#7) has the fifth highest win percentage in our league, among active franchises, but can only boast 2nd and 3rd place finishes on her resume. Lockin UWL (#7) has the fourth highest win percentage in our league (active) and has a regular season championship under his belt, but has only seen one championship final in his previous eight seasons.

Our four-week, twelve-team playoff bracket looks like the following.

Applying our TL3 points-table standings the playoff bracket fills in accordingly. This has already been applied on ESPN.com. It still shows the ESPN head-to-head standings next to your team name, but this is the correct seating in the bracket based on TL3 points-table results. It’s head-to-head from here on out.

 

10-Year Anniversary Super League

For our 10-year anniversary next year we are going to host the league as a Super League of six to ten franchises (TBD). The teams invited will be based on active participation, historical win percentage, and number of years in the league. The roster and scoring settings will be tight and only one bench spot will be available. I’ve always wanted to do this and toyed with the idea of a “Lombardi Legends” league in the past. The results of this season will come in to play on how this works out next year.

 

Stat Leaders through Week 12

TQB – Lockin UWL (52.30 points, Week 4, Dallas Cowboys)

RB – Team wren (48.60 points, Week 8, Dalvin Cook)

WR – Wanted Dez or Alive (57.90 points, Week 12, Tyreek Hill)

TE – Operation Warp Speed (40.10 points, Week 4, George Kittle)

LB – Operation Warp Speed (22.00 points, Week 5, Patrick Queen)

DEF – Davante’s Inferno (42.40 points, Week 7, Kansas City Chiefs)

K – Filthydelphia (21.00 points, Week 12, Younghoe Koo)

Weekly High Score – Lockin UWL (223.00 points, Week 2)

A Bench Swap was exercised as announced on the ESPN league message board.

1. Davante’s Inferno has exercised his Bench Swap this week at the TQB position. Net change Week 11: +3 wins.  Stat corrections will be taken in to consideration if applicable.

This created a shift in the final Week 11 standings.

There were multiple trades in Week 11 that included 2021 draft picks and the exchange of a bench swap. Both logs have been updated on the Draft Center page and the Bench Swap page.

This closes the regular season draft window.

League Standings through Week 11

#1 – Despite karma’s wreckage this week, it looks like Filthydelphia will hold on to the Regular Season Championship and the #1 seed in the playoffs. There is no likely scenario at this point that can alter that. ESPN’s botched status designation on Hill allowed Filthy to take a QB’s rake at the TE position and the single win he needed to stay ahead of the #2 seed. Even if an 11-0 finish by Glass is Half Fuller next week and a corresponding 0-11 finish by Filthy would tie them up, Filthy would break the tie in Total Points.

• If GHF also outscored Filthy by 86.90 points in Week 12 he could pull off the miracle. The average spread through the last eleven weeks (the difference between the highest scorer and lowest scorer) is 85.31 points. The spread was higher than 86.90 points six times this year, and more than 109 points in Weeks 6 and 7. This points-spread scenario may be slightly more possible than the 11-0 and 0-11 scenario, but for both to happen at once would be damn near supernatural.

#2 – It looks like Glass is Half Fuller has put together enough wins over the last two weeks to give him a respectable 4-win lead in the standings and a decent hold on the #2 seed in the playoffs. The current #3 through #7 spots in the standings are still within striking distance of that position though. GHF will need to put his best roster forward in the final week of the regular season. He’s got three players on quick-turn Thursday matchups and Derrick Henry facing the #3 run defense in the league.

#3 – Coming Tua America is currently sitting in the #3 spot after two 10-1 outings in the last three weeks. Analysis shows that there is one possible Bench Swap in Week 11 that could jump ahead of him in the standings (a Tie at 72 wins with a Total Points tiebreaker). We’ll have to wait to see if anything comes in prior to the start of the Turkey-day schedule.

#4 through #8 – The remaining seeds in the above .500 column could very likely shift around following Week 12 results. Three of these five teams have been trending up over the last three weeks.

#9 through #12 – The bottom four teams in our league may shake up what half of the playoff bracket they end up playing in, but they wont be able to crack the ceiling they are under.

• Team wren will likely keep the #9 seed as he has an 8-win advantage over the group.
• Hot Chubb Time Machine put together an 11-0 outing this week, but he recorded two 1-10 outings in the previous two weeks and he’s only cracked .500 two other times this season.
• Not much to say about Family Jules. He never hit the Tuesday waiver wire this season and was basically on cruise control. This league is way too active to phone it in on Sundays.
• Wanted Dez or Alive only put forward three weeks this season with more than four wins. It didn’t help his chances leaving empty spots on his roster in Weeks 9, 10, and 11.

 

Stat Leaders through Week 11

TQB – Lockin UWL (52.30 points, Week 4, Dallas Cowboys)

RB – Team wren (48.60 points, Week 8, Dalvin Cook)

WR – Glass is Half Fuller (53.90 points, Week 7, Tyler Lockett)

TE – Operation Warp Speed (40.10 points, Week 4, George Kittle)

LB – Operation Warp Speed (22.00 points, Week 5, Patrick Queen)

DEF – Davante’s Inferno (42.40 points, Week 7, Kansas City Chiefs)

K – Filthydelphia (18.00 points, Week 10 Tyler Bass)

Weekly High Score – Lockin UWL (223.00 points, Week 2)

Before this ridiculous shit plays out today, let’s make one thing clear – this is a one quarterback league. ESPN and a few other platforms this week got themselves in some hot water by applying both the Quarterback (QB) and the Tight End (TE) designation to the New Orleans Saints pocket knife, Taysom Hill.

Fun Fact:  More than three years ago, under the McCarthy regime, the Packers had Taysom Hill in training camp but ended up releasing him on the final roster cut down. The idea that McCarthy’s staff would have used Hill anywhere near the way the Saints have is laughable, but McCarthy’s Packers seemed to have made it a habit of allowing talented players to walk out the door. Mike always made their pottys a little more porta. *See 2020 Dallas Cowboys.

This week, Taysom Hill has been designated as the “Starting” QB for the Saints. This week, Taysom Hill can be placed in the TE position on our rosters. This essentially gives someone in our league (Filthydelphia – SMH) two quarterbacks on his roster. For the rest of the season, if not properly addressed. This unforeseen circumstance violates the spirit and integrity of a one quarterback league, and provides a number of unfair advantages.

• If said fantasy team plays Taysom Hill at TE, or even the FLEX position where TEs are allowed to be rostered, this gives said fantasy team two quarterbacks on their roster. Both of these positions were designed for true TEs, WRs, or RBs, respectively.
• Under our current Team Quarterback (TQB) format, if said fantasy team also had the Saints TQB on his roster he would be double-dipping every player stat – every yard, every score, every point. This would not be possible under the QB format as Hill would have to be placed in one roster position or the other. The TQB position was developed this year to help the league under COVID conditions, not further hurt the league.
• The word “starting” was placed in quotes because the starting designation is the key factor in the decision our league faces going forward. If Hill, or any player for that matter, is designated a “starting” QB, then that is the only position they are allowed to be rostered in our league. And if any fantasy team acquires such a player, they will not be allowed to be rostered in any position but QB. Under a TQB format, they are essentially unrosterable. Said fantasy team would have to acquire the associated TQB if they wanted to garner that particular player’s QB points.
  • If the fantasy player is not designated as the “starting” QB, then it is fair game. They will get whatever passing points that player accumulates as any other player would in the league. This happens from time to time when trick plays are called and various offensive players make passes.

ESPN and other platforms have already indicated that they are going to “fix” this issue next week. They will look at snap counts after this week’s matchup and change Hill’s designation accordingly.

We can’t do anything about it this week, and if Filthydelphia decides to take advantage of this anomaly, that is his prerogative. However, next week we will not allow this in our league. In true fantasy form, we are a one quarterback league, and we will keep that integrity in tact.

A month or so ago, The Lombardi Three Commissioner hosted an informal league campout in the mountains of western Virginia.  In attendance, Bagel Time regaled the party with campfire stories disclosing the number of Indian-American international students he advises and the cultural implication that commonly succeeds each request he receives from these students, “please do the needful.”

While such a presumptuous, condescending expression obviously has no place in modern communication, and deserves an extended commentary, this was really only brought up as a lead-in to this week’s plate of Packers propaganda.

Commence conditioning.

To date, there are no known Indian football players currently in the NFL. In fact, only two Indian-Americans have ever played in the NFL; Brandon Chillar and Sanjay Beach. Ironically, both played for the Green Bay Packers.

 

Brandon Chillar, a Linebacker from UCLA, was drafted by the St. Louis Rams in 2004. He was picked up by Green Bay and played for the Packers from 2008-2010, with whom he won Super Bowl XLV in his final season. After his release in 2011, he became one of the primary investors and advisers for the Elite Football League of India, a professional American Football league based in India. It was founded with eight franchises in 2011, and now has 23 franchises throughout South Asia, among whom 20 located in India, two in Sri Lanka and one in Pakistan. The league has planned to expand to 52 teams by 2022.

 

Sanjay Rajiv Beach, a Wide Receiver from Colorado State, was drafted in 1988 by the Dallas Cowboys. After suffering a knee injury his first year, he was cut by the Cowboys. He was picked up by the New York Jets the next year but only played in one game the entire 1989 season. After another forgettable season, this time with the San Francisco 49ers, Green Bay picked him up in free agency.  In a game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Beach caught Brett Favre’s first NFL completion (excluding a pass that was deflected and caught by Favre himself).  Over the course of the 1992 season, Beach racked up career highs in catches (17), yards (122), and tied for his career high in touchdowns with one. This was the only year he played with the Packers.

 

League Standings through Week 9

Stat corrections haven’t even come in yet and three requests for scoring adjustments have already been administered. It is each team’s responsibility to pay attention to the timing of these scoring adjustments and when they are applied. The league commissioner will carry out the adjustments immediately following the request and announce them on the ESPN message board. Once executed, these cannot be retracted if another team follows with an adjustment of their own.

1. Coming Tua America has exercised the 16-point bonus he earned in Week 2 after he predicted all 16 NFL games correctly. Net change Week 9: +5 wins. You can thank the League Commissioner for that handjob. It must be noted that CTA was the only patriot to check in on the commish when he was chasing toucans through the jungles of Tulum, a bottle of mezcal deep, under the eye of Zeta’s fury. When asked about the moment between friends, the TL3 Commissioner said it was, “worth every tug.”
2. Bagel Time has exercised his Bench Swap this week at the RB position. Net change Week 9: +4 wins.  Stat corrections will be taken in to consideration if applicable.
3. Filthydelphia has exercised his Bench Swap this week at the FLEX position. Net change Week 9: +2 wins.  As if being 19 wins ahead of the organization wasn’t enough. Stat corrections will be taken in to consideration if applicable.

The #2 through #6 playoff spots are only separated by three wins. Four of those five teams are only separated by one win. This part of the playoff standings can shift significantly over the last three weeks of the regular season.

Looking at the last three weeks average compared to the season average there are a handful of teams showing some significant trends.       

 

Stat Leaders through Week 9

TQB – Lockin UWL (52.30 points, Week 4, Dallas Cowboys)

RB – Team wren (48.60 points, Week 8, Dalvin Cook)

WR – Glass is Half Fuller (53.90 points, Week 7, Tyler Lockett)

TE – Operation Warp Speed (40.10 points, Week 4, George Kittle)

LB – Operation Warp Speed (22.00 points, Week 5, Patrick Queen)

DEF – Davante’s Inferno (42.40 points, Week 7, Kansas City Chiefs)

K – Davante’s Inferno (17.00 points, Weeks 2 & 4, Youghoe Koo & Randy Bullock)

Weekly High Score – Lockin UWL (223.00 points, Week 2)

League Standings through Week 7

Glass is Half Fuller lost three games in five weeks with top four scores in each of those weeks. He should be sitting 5-2, not 2-5. Per the standard head-to-head format, GHF would likely miss the playoffs. In our format he is currently seated in the #2 spot likely to earn a playoff BYE week. Maybe next time he’ll let his friends win a game of badminton or two…

Hot Chubb Time Machine is in last place and therefore squatting in the #6 spot in the ESPN standings. Chubby picked up a lucky win in Week 6 with a measly 120.2 points, only besting three other outfits. Don’t worry, the TL3 paddywagon will pick him up at the end of the regular season and drop him back off in Fredericksburg where he belongs.

Filthydelphia has surpassed RGIII’s Company aka Genetic Black Jesus as the most hated outfit in a season. Is this guy ever gonna catch a bad beat? Jesus H. Fucking-Christ with this shit every week.

Stat Leaders through Week 7

TQB – Lockin UWL (52.30 points, Week 4, Dallas Cowboys)

RB – Davante’s Inferno (45.60 points, Week 2, Aaron Jones)

WR – Glass is Half Fuller (53.90 points, Week 7, Tyler Lockett)

TE – Operation Warp Speed (40.10 points, Week 4, George Kittle)

LB – Operation Warp Speed (22.00 points, Week 5, Patrick Queen)

DEF – Davante’s Inferno (42.40 points, Week 7, Kansas City Chiefs)

K – Davante’s Inferno (17.00 points, Weeks 2 & 4, Youghoe Koo & Randy Bullock)

Weekly High Score – Lockin UWL (223.00 points, Week 2)

How ESPN fantasy football is handling Patriots-Broncos and other NFL games postponed due to positive coronavirus tests.

Let me know if you have any TL3-specific questions and I will try and address.

ESPN Fantasy allows for players from teams that get suddenly postponed to be placed in the IR slot. I’ve added one IR slot to everyone’s roster to help with the weekly chaos.

If I see any unaffected team owners adding IR players from free agency to their IR spots this week, I will penalize them. Do not attempt this until the the next waiver period. Then it’s fair game.

CLARIFICATION: ESPN must designate the postponed players as OUT in order for you to place them in the IR slot.

CLARIFICATION: I don’t want anyone stashing current IR free agents in their newly assigned IR slots until the next waiver period. You can stick IR players already on your Bench in the newly assigned IR slot, then refill your roster as needed.

Let me repeat, The Lombardi Three just upgraded to ad-free. Those pieces of shit at WordPress that flooded our last post with four ads embedded in the middle of the content forced the change. Pisses me off something fierce.

Anyhoo, enjoy this new freedom. This LM is in hot pursuit of a new web host though. We’ll stay ad-free going forward, but I will not be strong-armed by the incelibate human garbage at WordPress. Fuck those guys.

By the way, if you haven’t seen 1985’s Moving Violations I highly recommend. This was John Murray’s (Bill Murray’s little brother) first film. Shit’s funnier than hell.

Cue the drone academy fight song, and the next guy up in 2020. With the exception of that jammy bastard Filthydelphia, the injury bug has crawled its way in to every bunk in our berth, every davenport in our den, and every sack in our saddle. We’ve already lost four 1^st rounders to injury including picks #1 and #2, with Coming Tua America suffering injuries to his top three draft picks. By the way, “that jammy bastard” is British English for “that lucky asshole.”

Our Ball Gazer finale ended with Glass is Half Fuller tasting that sweet sugar this week as the last squad to earn a bench swap this season. The Bengals-Eagles game ended in a tie, so we divert to the 78% win percentage requirement, vice the 13-win benchmark per the Constitution. A half-point was given to everyone who picked either one of these teams. A half-point was also deducted just to frustrate the lower reading group in our league and becloud the rest of you. Looking forward to your texts…

Bench Swap Log has been updated. This is your unremitting, annual reminder that once you earn a bench swap, you don’t need to submit for the remaining weeks…unless you long for the personal freedom to embarrass yourself. As predicted, for all those teams that earned a bench swap last week, this week’s results proved what a frivolous run of luck it was for most involved. At least Bagel Time and SKOLya’gain saved themselves the shame and self-reproach. Week 3 results are as follows.

12.5 – 3.5 (78%)

Glass is Half Fuller

aka The Deviant Recovery Network

11.5 – 4.5 (72%)

Davante’s Inferno (NR)

Hot Chubb Time Machine (NR)

aka The Buick Commission

10.5 – 5.5 (66%)

Coming Tua America

aka The Red Bull of Juarez

9.5 – 6.5 (59%)

Filthydelphia (NR)

aka The Wardialer

8.5 – 7.5 (53%)

Family Jules

Lockin UWL (NR)

aka Yoncopin

0-16 (0%)

Operation Warp Speed

Team Wren

Wanted Dez or Alive

aka The Misguided Men of Flomaton

Not Required (NR)

Bagel Time

SKOLya’gain

aka The Chiriacho Summit

Highlights

• We all had the Patriots, Browns, and Buccaneers in the win column. One of these W’s was offset by our consensus Chargers pick. No one in America had the Panthers winning that game, which is a little surprising because there was a time in the not too distant past when the Chargers didn’t know which end of the field the end zone was in.
• Lockin UWL was the only squad that thought the Rams would defeat Josh Allen on his home turf. Shame on him for picking the Saints over his hometown Packers too. He doesn’t get access to the inner circle with that bullshit. Filthy was the only team that thought the winless Texans would beat Big Ben Bratwurst Butt and a well-fed Steelers team at home.
• Coming Tua America is still the only shareholder all-in on the Cowboys being a real football team and he doubled-down this week on Jerry’s World and the Dallas Cow Pies, in Seattle, against Russ the Destroyer. C’mon, man.
• Lastly, Family Jules was the only squad to swing and miss on the Vikings, Jets, and Ravens. He was also the only squad to correctly pick the Bears and Lions. He sure showed us…

We distributed 67% in dividends this season, 89% if you only take the teams that participated in to consideration. You had an 89% chance to win a bench swap this season, just for trying. I’ll take those odds any day. Eight team owners this season earned a key weapon in boosting their end of regular season results.

Of note, one of teams that earned a bench swap in Week 2 would have earned one on the season anyway if he missed the Week 2 benchmark by one game. Remember, even if you don’t hit the minimum benchmark in Weeks 1-3, you can still shoot for the 70% overall benchmark for all three weeks combined. You can earn a bench swap via that route too. You’ll have to wait for next year though – unless Hot Chubb wants to let you borrow his whip. Season results as follows.

 

League Standings through Week 3

This is why we do this. There will be no scum. Glass is Half Fuller has already suffered two ill-fated matchup losses after putting up top four scores. He lost to one of only two teams that outscored him in Week 1, and again lost in Week 3 to one of only three teams that outscored him. On the other end of the spectrum Family Jules struck fools gold twice already in Weeks 1 and 2 inflating his ESPN league standings by four spots as compared to our playoff rankings. Actual standings through Week 3 below.

 

League High Scores through Week 3

• TQB – Bagel Time (49.95 points, Week 3, Seattle Seahawks)
• RB – Davante’s Inferno (45.60 points, Week 2, Aaron Jones)
• WR – Davante’s Inferno (41.60 points, Week 1, Davante Adams)
• TE – Team wren (28.40 points, Week 2, Tyler Higbee)
• LB – Glass is Half Fuller (14.00 points, Week 2, Jaylon Smith)
• DEF – Bagel Time (32.30 points, Week 2 Pittsburgh Steelers)
• K – Davante’s Inferno (17.00 points, Week 2, Youghoe Koo)
• Weekly High Score – Lockin UWL (223.00 points, Week 2)