Category: Uncategorized

Categories
Uncategorized

You’ll Get Nothing and Like It

By the conclusion of the 4:00 PM games, there were no teams left eligible for a Bench Swap. We were done by the 1:00 PM games last year so either we are getting better at this or the spread was just that much greater.

Of the 8 submissions, no one picked the Bears, Skins or Raiders to win. Only Tannehill For Prez correctly picked the Rams to beat the Seahawks. Eastside Forty-Oz was the only one to pick the Giants over the Cowboys, and Schoolya’gain was the only one that thought the Ravens would beat the Broncos at home. Her card was ugly but she looked damn good at the bar yesterday sporting her new fantasy gear.

Schoolya

Analysis: Eight out of twelve submissions is lame. You can’t win the lottery unless you play. That’s…like…the only requirement to win. Someone is probably going to win this thing next week. Why are the Raiders still a football team? How long is that gonna go on??

11-3
Bagel Time
Tannehill For President

10-4
Air Jordy
White Wes Welkers

9-5
Eastside Forty-Ounces
Packer Cave

9-3
Ya Down With ODBJ (left 2 teams off of his submission – wtf dude?)

7-7
Schoolya’gain

0-16 (Absconders)
IJamAllDay
Lake Hickory Swallops
RGIII’s Company
UnLockin Yo Schtuff

Categories
Uncategorized

“Call me Mr. Lamb Fries.”

Lamb Fry

This is the one and only reminder you will receive for the weekly Ball Gazer submissions. Weeks 1, 2 and 3 have been uploaded to the Bench Swaps tab. Team names have been updated in the dropdown. Refer to the Constitution for details. First game is tonight. Not a lot of room for error in Week 1. Good luck.

Categories
Uncategorized

Jordy Ray Nelson

Jordy

Before the season starts I want to pay a brief homage to his greatness, Air Jordy.

Only seven teams had six passing TD’s of 40+ yards last year. Air Jordy caught seven – by himself.

A. 9/14/14 vs. Jets (80 yards)
Burned one Jet for the catch, made another fall down in pursuit. This score won the game.

B. 10/2/14 vs. Vikings (66 yards)
Nelson says these routes take “a lot of practice, a lot of trust” with QB Aaron Rodgers.

C. 10/19/14 vs. Panthers (59 yards)
Nelson drew man coverage, so he beelined for the end zone; A-Rod hit him in stride.

D. 11/9/14 vs. Bears (73 yards)
How does he feel after loooong catch-and-sprints into the end zone? “Kind of tired.”

E. 11/9/14 vs. Bears (40 yards)
This one came just two minutes and 40 seconds later and iced the game for Green Bay.

F. 11/30/14 vs. Patriots (45 yards)
Roasted the Super Bowl champs – and G.O.A.T. corner Darrelle Revis – for this long score.

G. 12/8/14 vs. Falcons (60 yards)
“If [Rodgers] trusts me to be on the same page, we’ll make plays.” He does, and they do.

photo 1

photo 2

Categories
Uncategorized

DRAFT Report Cards

“If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless.”

-I said that shit

photo 2

photo 5

photo 2 (1)

photo 3 (1)

photo 3

photo 4 (1)

photo 1

photo 1 (1)

Ya Down With ODBJ

Draft Grade (unknown)

Proj Record 5-8

Proj Finish T8

photo

photo 4

E40

Categories
Uncategorized

2015 Draft Winner

The Live Draft will be this Saturday morning September 5th at 11:30am eastern. That’s 8:30am for the dirt-devils out west and somewhere in between for you cheese-eaters. Two (2) days people – do what you gotta do.

Air Jordy and Eastside Forty-Ounces have run a series of offline and online randomizers and the winner of the 1st Overall Draft Pick is….

RGIII’s COMPANY

 

This is about the only action any RGIII will see this season. The rest of the teams fall in to place based on the rules of the Constitution.

2015 Draft Order

If you have any bitches, moans or complaints about anything, I no longer care. We are now on the other side of the field from each other. You have been provided everything you need. You create your own wealth from here…

Categories
Uncategorized

2015 Enactments

[good news, bad news, no news, whatever I can do to keep my mind off Jordy….]
-my subconscious

The good news is that all team managers have checked in with me, so we are all set for 2015.

The bad news is that we lost Reservations for Six. Our 2013 Champ is taking a break – like me and my Ashley Madison account (too much heat right now). With RF6’s departure we are back to the 12-team format we had last year. We will each play each other once, then I will adjust the schedule in Weeks 12 and 13 to mirror what we did last season (see post Schedule for Weeks 12 and 13, dtd November 11, 2014).

I got no news on League Dues from some of you still. What’s the deally yo? I do know how to fix this, and I think this is a good opportunity to introduce a new amendment to The Lombardi Three Constitution. What’s a new year without a new amendment…or three? Peep this.

Here ye, here ye, as League Manager I have set in to motion three (3) new amendments to the Constitution. These amendments permit time for the League Manager to execute the lottery, shape the final draft lineup, establish the first week’s schedule and outline the process for Week’s 12 and 13 should we playing with a 12-team roster.

Ejection Seat

15.1 – The Ejection Seat: Any team that fails to pay their League Dues by the prescribed deadline* outlined by the League Manager will be ejected from any fixed draft position and will not be allowed to participate in the draft lottery for first overall pick. Said derelict(s) will be repositioned at the bottom of the draft lineup.
*The deadline for League Dues is typically 3 calendar days prior to draft day.

Rematch

15.2 – Rematch Beeyatch: The first week’s lineup each season will be established based on the results of the previous season. The 1st place finisher will play the 2nd place finisher; the 3rd place finisher will play the 4th place finisher; and so on. If teams have been retired or removed, the standings simply shift up. Any new teams fall to the bottom of the order, similar to the draft standings. Each successive week is randomized by NFL.com.

Week 1 Preview
Money Manziel vs. Eastside Forty-Ounces
White Wes Welkers vs. IJamAllDay
LockinUWL vs. REDSKINS
Packer Cave vs. Air Jordy
Lake Hickory Swallops vs. Bagel Time
Schoolya’gain vs. Tannehill for President

15.3 – Fugazi: (This amendment is only valid by means of a 12-team roster. This amendment is void by means of a 14-team roster.) Once Week 11 concludes the schedule will be manually set to allow for a mini-playoff before the actual playoffs begin. Following the conclusion of Week 11, we will establish the schedule for Weeks 12 and 13 based on the League Standings. For Week 12, we will set it up as follows.

Team 1 vs. Team 7
Team 2 vs. Team 8
Team 3 vs. Team 9
Team 4 vs. Team 10
Team 5 vs. Team 11
Team 6 vs. Team 12

Using the same League Standings after the conclusion of Week 11, we will set up the final Week of the regular season to play your neighbor. This will be a true test of which team best deserves that position in the playoffs. For Week 13, we will set it up as follows.

Team 1 vs. Team 2
Team 3 vs. Team 4
Team 5 vs. Team 6
Team 7 vs. Team 8
Team 9 vs. Team 10
Team 11 vs. Team 12

Lots to digest this post I know. But really, who’s reading this shit anyway? Study hard this weekend. I hear Jordy Nelson is ok, so don’t mess around and not pick him up first round. I got a guy on this inside. Trust me.

-The Commish

Categories
Uncategorized

Season 4 – Admin

Please review my previous post as I have corrected the Draft Order, League Dues chart and added the first of our two new teams, Tannehill for President. T4P is our first Dolphins die-hard and a veteran fantasy football player. He will add a new level of competition to the league and we will undoubtedly regret inviting him. I’m serious; this dude’s probably gonna take all our money. The other knucklehead we are still waiting on is one of my Little Lombardi Urban Achievers, but he shouldn’t pose too much of a threat. I’m thinking Goonies-level minimum effort if his current attention span is any indication. I’m calling you out bro!

Waiver Wire Priority
The Waiver Wire settings have been changed. We will not reset the order each week like we did last season. Last year the waiver priority was based on the standings – the 12th place team got the first pick every week. Going forward the order will always be arranged by who picked last. As you make picks, you move to the bottom of the list. Simple. Fair.

Scoring
I have removed all the bonuses. You get what you get. We are not going to break any scoring records, but if you are playing a guy that week and your RB ran for 99 yards and his RB ran for 101, there won’t be a drastic difference in points because of milestone bonuses. Again, simple. Fair.

Stat Corrections / Bench Swaps
Regarding the offseason correspondence about stat corrections – these are still done automatically and I have no control over them. NFL.com indicates that there is a 5-day window for stat corrections to trickle in. This comes in to play when thinking about exercising one of your Bench Swaps. Previously, our deadline for exercising a Bench Swap was Tuesday at midnight, when the waiver period expired. Now that we have changed the way the waiver priority works, we do not need to take in to account this advantage.

So, in order to account for stat corrections that may come in any time prior to Thursday night’s matchup, I am extending that period to correspond with that same time frame. A Bench Swap may be exercised any time prior to the start of the Thursday night matchup.

The Badonkadonk
Per Amendment 13.4.1 – The Badonkadonk: Schoolya’gain and LockinUWL will be carrying over the Bench Swaps they earned from last season. They will still have the opportunity to earn another Bench Swap this season, however, only one Bench Swap per season may be used.

Changes to Trades
Per Amendment 13.2 – Trades: All trading activity will be voted on by Team Owners with a trade rejection window of 1 day. There will be no League Manager Veto. Team Owners will have full responsibility to approve or overturn trades. *This was actually changed early last season, but I wanted to remind everyone.

That’s it for now. You have your marching orders. You have everything you need to be successful this season. Pay your dues. Ask questions if you are unclear about something. Pay your dues. Oh, one more thing – pay your dues.

-The Commish

Categories
Uncategorized

Season 4 – Draft / Dues

The following Draft Order has been set per the Constitution. The bottom two picks will be reserved for our two new teams. More to follow on these bozos. Like last year, any team NOT in a guaranteed slot (picks 2 through 6) will be entered in to a random drawing for first overall pick. For those that are in the guaranteed slots, please let me know if you plan on exercising Amendment 13.1.1 ‘Balls Of Steel’ per the Constitution. The random drawing for 1st overall pick will be held prior to the beginning of the season and announced on this site.

2015 Draft Order

In keeping with tradition, the Draft Party will be held at a new location. This year it will be hosted in our nation’s capital at the league’s new center of operations in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia. Locals Air Jordy, Schoolya’gain, Eastside Forty-Ounces and Bagel Time will be in attendance. For anyone that wants to drive up, train up, or fly in, there is plenty of room. Bring yo’ ass. Draft date will likely be late morning on Saturday, September 5th.

League Dues have been updated to $40 per team. This small $15 increase allows us to double the reward to the top 4 winners at best. I may tweak this slightly to include rewards for Regular Season Champion and/or some of the other key accolades. See the League Dues tab for information on how to pay, the award breakout and tracking on who has paid / hasn’t paid. These are due sooner rather than later. I am an intolerant tyrant and I will arm the resistance. This is a pay-to-play league, and similar to last year, my peak of impatience is estimated to reach irreparable levels two weeks prior to the draft. One of you still owes last year’s dues. Just sayin’.

If you are not going to play this year, please do not sit on this decision. Do me the favor of letting me know sooner rather than later. No hard feelings, sincerely. I would always prefer that you sit out if you are not dedicated to the cause. There are certainly better things you can be doing with your time and I only want degenerates like myself committed to driving themselves insane each week.

Stay tuned for an upcoming post on the administrative changes to scoring and waiver wire priority we reviewed at the end of last season.

-The Commish

Categories
Uncategorized

Season 4 – Game of Inches

Lombardi

Welcome ladies and gentleman to Season 4 of The Lombardi Three. Most teams have been anxiously pinging me for anything new on the upcoming season and I’ve been getting antsy as well. Last season dragged on for 3 months after the last game ended, and there is still some unfinished business for some of us. Before I dish out the administrative stuff, I give you this.

I can feel a lot of anxiety from many of our teams in the league. There was only 1 winner last year, and the bottom 11 teams want another shot at the title like a shark wants blood. A few of our veterans are feeling angst about the imperfections of last season and contemplating a leave of absence – or just quitting altogether.

I don’t know what to say really. We are three weeks away from the start of the biggest battle of our fantasy lives, and it all comes down to today. Either we heal as a league or we are going to crumble inch by inch, week by week till we’re finished. We are at a crossroads right now ladies and gentlemen. Believe me. We can give up and let history kick the shit out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell – one inch at a time.

Now I can’t do it for you. I’m too close to the controls. I made every mistake a coach and a commissioner could make over the course of 3 seasons. You know, when you get old in life things get taken from you. That’s part of life. But you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out that life is just a game of inches. So is fantasy football. Because in both the game of life and fantasy football, the margin for error is so small. One half step too late or too early and your guy doesn’t quite make it. One half second too slow or too fast and your guy doesn’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game, every minute, every second.

In this league we fight for that inch. In this league we tear ourselves and everyone around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our finger nails for that inch. Cause we know, when we add up all those inches, that’s going to make the fucking difference between WINNING and LOSING – between LIVING and DYING!

I’ll tell you this – in any fight it is the guy who is willing to die who is going to win that inch. And I know if I am going to have any life anymore it is because I am still willing to fight and die for that inch because that is what LIVING is. The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can’t make you do it. You gotta look in the mirror at the guy staring back at you. Look into that coach’s eyes. Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch. You are going to see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this league because he knows when it comes down to it; it is in his blood – in her blood. That’s a league ladies and gentlemen, and either we heal now as a league or we die as individuals. That’s fantasy football. That’s all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?

Categories
Uncategorized

Things Are Not What They Seem

Asterisk I spent the last two weeks occupied with an NFL Media team of system developers regarding an issue that cropped up with our 2014 league results. They were communicating with me while the NFL Draft was going on. It was pretty cool. The results of our troubleshooting were essentially equivalent to…finding out that Santa Claus isn’t real. This is going to be one of my most interesting and challenging posts to date. Buckle up.

Let’s go back to two weeks ago.

Over the weekend of April 25-26, I was closing the books on the 2014 season, as you know. I record game scores and some key stats each week throughout the season in an offline workbook. That weekend I reviewed all the results and stats to make sure everything was accurate. Once my audit was complete, I issued virtual trophies and updated TheLombardiThree.com. Hopefully you took some time to read the posts.

My last order of business on the season was to appraise our 2014 League Champion’s results and post an article on his season. That Sunday morning, April 26, the League Champion was no longer listed on NFL.com as Money Manziel – it now indicated that the White Wes Welkers had won. As a matter of fact, the entire results of the season changed overnight, not just the League Champion. See below.

2014 Altered Results

The only management setting I tweaked that weekend was the activation of some of the virtual trophies. Nothing else was touched. Once I saw these changes in the season results I immediately pulled out my record of the season and began my investigation. I discovered changes in the scores of 19 matchups over the entire season. One of which, in Week 12, resulted in a change in Win/Loss between Bagel Time and REDSKINS. The change in this single game completely altered the playoff standings, and ultimately the results of the season.

How the hell did this happen overnight?!?! This is the question I posed to NFL.com.

During the last two weeks, I worked closely with one of NFL Media’s reps and his developers to figure out what happened. There was a technical glitch. This discovery was both an education in how our stat corrections work over the season (there is a statute of limitations), and a shocking discovery that the results of every NFL Fantasy season are not what they seem. NFL.com’s finding is posted below.

Letter from NFL

These guys stuck with me working on this even after I told them to just forget it at one point. I highly respect them for both working patiently with me on this issue and for continuously reinforcing a positive relationship with the customer (us) at the same time. I was ready to pull the plug on this platform completely for our fantasy league. But after this encounter we’re sticking with em.

There are a few ways to look at this going forward.

(1) By including all of the statistical corrections throughout the season, past the statute of limitations setting, this hiccup altered the season to what some would argue were the true results. I have suggested to NFL.com that they make this a league setting that we can manage. I think we should include all stat corrections that come in past the 5-day statute of limitations, at least throughout the regular season. That is the most accurate outcome. And I think it would add a fun twist to the regular season.

Or,

(2) Our season originally ended exactly the way it should have. We have the league settings in place that we do to prevent season-altering systematic events to take place. There needs to be some sort of control over the weekly results, otherwise the league is basically on auto-pilot throughout the season. I have insisted that NFL.com change our results back to the way it was at the conclusion of the season.

No matter how you look at it, there is essentially an asterisk on every one of our seasons. There could be an unrecorded tackle, or unaccounted yard out there that may have affected the results of each one of our seasons in one way or another. Because of this incredibly coincidental timing, we were exposed to that reality. Kinda takes the grandeur out of it for me. For each one of us that won or lost a matchup by a mere point or two, who knows how your season truly ended up?