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12 is the Magic Number

Well, that sucked again. But business first. There are still 3 deadbeat daddies out there who haven’t paid their child support. We need to incorporate some level of conformity to be fair to the rest of the players in the league, because halfway through the season (if your team sucks shit) you are that much less likely to pay your season dues at all. So that said, if League Dues aren’t paid by the conclusion of Week 4, I will disable the Add/Drop and Trade features on that team’s account. By the conclusion of Week 5 Roster Changes and Roster Options will be locked out. We are wrapping up Week 2 now so that gives you 2 full weeks to mow lawns, bag groceries, plant tulips, or whatever it is you have to do to pull together 25 bucks.

12 is the magic number people! Get those final Week 3 Ball Gazer forms to me before Thursday’s Buccs – Falcons matchup.

As far as Week 2 went, we were all toast by the conclusion of the 1:00 games. No one picked the Browns to beat the Saints, the Chargers to beat the Seahawks, or the Bears to beat the 49ers. The only 2 winners we all predicted accurately were the Broncos and Packers. Results follow. Nice work again E40.

9-6
Bagel Time
Eastside 40-Ounces

7-8
Air Jordy
IJamAllDay
Lake Hickory Swallops
Money Manziel

6-9
LockinUWL
Packer Cave
Schoolya’gain

5-10
White Wes Welkers

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No Bench Swaps Earned!

By the conclusion of the 1:00 PM ET games, there were no teams left eligible to earn a Bench Swap in Week 1. Out of the 11 submissions, 2 teams tied for “Least Worst” at 7-4, only 1 team picked the Texans, and no one picked the Dolphins or Titans.

Analysis: We aren’t very good at this. The Redskins aren’t very good at football.

7-4
Eastside Forty-Ounces
IJamAllDay

6-5
Schoolya’gain

5-6
LockinUWL
REDSKINS
White Wes Welkers

4-7
Air Jordy
Money Manziel
Packer Cave

3-8
Bagel Time
Lake Hickory Swallops

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DRAFT REPORT CARDS

Nice work today everyone. According to NFL.com Schoolya’gain and REDSKINS are tied for first place (T1) post draft. You should have gotten your email by now. Share this jibberish with me so I can share with the world. I’ll add screen shots below as I receive them.

Don’t forget to submit your Ball Gazers this week in order to win a Bench Swap. Forms are due before Thursday night’s game.

 REDSKINS RCSchoolya'gain RCphoto 2 (2)photo 1photo 3photo 2 (1)photo (4)photo 1 (2)photo 1 (1)photo 2

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Draft Lottery Winner

The Live Draft will be Saturday morning August 30th at 11am eastern. That’s 8am for the west coasters and somewhere in between for you middle-America bozos. According to the TL3 calendar, that’s 7 days out. This is another reminder to GET – YOUR – SHIT – TOGETHER.

Air Jordy and Packer Cave have run a series of online and offline randomizers and the winner of the 1st Overall Draft Pick is….
MONEY MANZIEL

The rest of the teams fall in to place based on the rules of the Constitution. The following draft order can be reviewed on the league homepage under League / Draft Info. The Weekly Schedule was also randomized.

1. Money Manziel
2. Reservations For Six
3. Schoolya’gain
4. White Wes Welkers
5. Air Jordy
6. Bagel Time
7. IJamAllDay
8. Lake Hickory Swallops
9. REDSKINS
10. LockinUWL
11. Packer Cave
12. Eastside Forty-Ounces

I do have an update on league membership. We have discharged the Lincoln Co. Chavezes, Put a Bird On It and The Goonies to seek out professional help. Let’s face it, those cats had a problem. They were addicted to NOT playing fantasy football well. Keep up the average effort boys and girls.

We have subsequently added Eastside Forty-Ounces! E40 has several years of fantasy experience and will be tough competition. Don’t sleep on this FNG.

Correction: I have to amend last week’s post to clearly identify this year’s Draft Party MC. The Regal Beagles have updated their appellation to the White Wes Welkers. Clever play on words buddy (hint: Game of Thrones). Big fan of the show, so me likey. The NFC North would likely be on that side of the wall.

Hope all is well. Looking forward to the usual BS on Draft Day next Saturday. I got a pack of blacks and a beat cd, get yo’ freestyle ready.